The Diary of Mariesharieff.

has been for quite sometimes...

2011-02-09T15:12:00.002+08:00

hey ppl, woah has been quite sometimes.. a year passed. woah! n im getting hitched! well i need to change a bit of the layout. current layout looked sad, dark.. NO More. Im happy girl now! keep up with the new layout soon. gonna do it at home. now at work-.-.

Evanescence - The last song I'm wasting on you

2010-05-12T14:24:00.000+08:00

sparkling gray, thru my own veins
any more than a whisper, any sudden movement of my heart
and i know, i know i'll have to watch them pass away
juz get thru this day

give up ur way, u cud be anything
give up my way and lose myself, not today
that's too much guilt to pay

sickened in the sun you dare tell me you love me
but u held me down and screamed you wanted me to die
honey, you know, you know i'd never hurt you that way
youre juz so pretty in ur pain

give up my way and i cud be anything
i'll make my own way
without ur senseless hate, hate, hate, hate

so run, run, run
and hate me, if it feels good
i cant hear your screams anymore

you lied to me but im older now
and im noy buying baby
demanding my response
dont bother breaking the door down i found my way out

and you'll never hurt me again.

hate my life.

2010-05-08T00:06:00.002+08:00

hey people...after so long i didnt update my blog. 2 mths i guess. alot of things happened. new work is fine. but tonite i never feel so low as much as tonite. wateva people had said bout me either good or bad.. i never actually care or take it seriously. wateva people sees me in their eyes.. either good or bad.. dun really bother me. but one person. only one person cud bring down all my ego..all my careless.. from being high i can juz go low. how strong his words is cud make me cry all night... cud give a slap on my face.. cud wake me up from my dream. it juz too strong. and it kills me at times. juz his words. he doesnt need to slap me..beat me.. struggle me. juz his words..i cud die from that. right now..im speechless. feeling low..unwanted. guilty.lost and fucked up. that's all people. gd nite.

If i were a Boy.

2010-03-13T22:33:00.002+08:00

I dun really like Beyonce.. but this song the one she's featuring with i dunnoe who... really hook on my ear. the lyrics so meaningful..like thinking how will it be to be a boy if u r girl and treat the girl rite.. and how will it be to be a girl if u r boy and treat the boy rite.. hmmm..i noe this song was out for so long.. dah basi.. i wish i were a boy.. really.. so i cud understand how my man always think and feel bout me. i wish to understand..but being girl it always hard to get it rite. i wish to trust.. but the past really kills my mind. till now...ive not yet get over it. It's hard. really. if only man cud understand. shud i say im having trauma symptom? or Fobia? i dunnoe. i need to get my mind rite.. straight..healthy.. i wanna fill up my times with anything that cud make me and my man happy.. i wanna be happy with the man i loved. i wanna make him happy being with me. and the most i wanna forget bout the bad memories. everything. haiz....

the girl said:
"If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man.
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed"

the boy said:
"If I were a girl
I don't think I'd understand
How it feels to love a boy
I swear I'd be a better woman.
I'd listen to him
Cause I don't know everything.
I would always try to tell em
That he needs to treat me better
Like I don't got to change at all."

Both said:
"But you're just a boy
And you're just a girl
You don't understand
Yeah you don't understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
And you don't listen to him
You don't care how it hurts
You don't care how I feel
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
And you're just a girl"

hmmmm...dont be boy and dont be girl lar.. be in the center..", hehehe

a NeW dAy.. a NeW Life.. a FresH sTart.

2010-03-01T21:17:00.004+08:00

started my orientation today.. well okay", can say their management was well done. the trainer was fun.. but after lunch was one draggy moment... felt very damn sleepy.. lucky love was there to entertain with my smses.. was all alone there.. no frenz yet.. dont really into bout finding frenz.. if they gd to me..ill be good to em. hmmm.alot of intern n attachment from polys and higher level also...so alot of yPs.. 'young peeps'..felt like back to school. cant wait for the real moment.. i can sense my work scope gonna be hectic..n im all out for it!!

and..yeah today..0103..mark 7 yrs journey of me with him. this 0103...will always be forever.. i love u and thanks for always be there for me.

silence..

2010-02-27T15:19:00.001+08:00

feeling down.. down...and down......

Insecure.

2010-02-19T22:53:00.005+08:00

Step 1
" It is likely that if you are jealous in a relationship, then this is a problem with yourself and not with your partner. Identify why you become jealous. Were you hurt in the past? Were you once neglected by your partner? Are there things about you that you do not like about yourself? What situations trigger this jealousy and what can be done to avoid these situations? Spend an afternoon or evening seriously thinking about these questions. You need to do some soul-searching before you can come to terms with your jealousy."

Step 2
" If you are insecure and this is why you become jealous, then you need to begin feeling happy about who you are. Write down a list of all the things that are great about you. Keep this list as a reference whenever you are feeling insecure."

Step 3
" Next, write a list of all the things that you dislike about yourself. Work to change the things that you dislike about yourself. You want your list to be shorter (fewer things on it) so that you can stop being jealous in a relationship. If you don't love yourself, how do you expect anybody else to? Get healthy, start a hobby, finish a goal. Do the things on your list and you will be a happier person."

Step 4
" Learn how to trust yourself and your partner. Be aware of the powers of the subconscious. If you constantly think that your partner is going to cheat, then this negative energy could be the driving force that actually does cause him or her to eventually cheat. Think positively. If you are not confident that your partner will remain faithful, then this says a lot about both you and your choice in a partner. You should set better standards for yourself and choose someone who you can trust."

hmmmmmm.....Tips for a night.. Night ppls..

Star Struck!

2010-02-12T13:39:00.003+08:00

Hey Ppl.. and for sheila hehehe.. yeah ive met siti nurhaliza in airport.. up close and personal wit her.. she was with her hubby.. bought a chloe bag from me(",). she is damn pretty. she came at the wrong time.. me with my selekeh'ness' doing stocks, my shagged face..argh..i dun wish to face her in that kind of look.. of course!. or else i would overshine her... hahah yeah rite! haha.. no one can overshine her.. she so pretty and humble.. very k. Finally my wish came true.. wish to meet her personally and it was a best gift before i leave this company.. haha. Got her signature too..so far this year ive met few star..anil kapoor..he was one hairy man... hehe he's very humble though..i met Farrel (cinta firti actor) dunnoe him actually..saw him when we wanted to depart to Bali in changi airport recently. im not 'cinta firti' fan..Me with my blasts mouth.."eh dia ni sape sey korang ambek gambar ngan dia??" Suprisingly my love naz kenal dia sey!! muahahah that is when ive got to noe he's a star!haha then pasal dia handsome nak ambek gambar jugak lar..cuz all the makcik2 dfs dah bisik2.."eh tu farrel.." hahhaa..then ive met my most and lovely idol..Rossa.. ahhhhhhh... dat was heaven..but dat was on her show not in airport..waited for her to fly off back.. tapi takda.. she shud be in Terminal 1..sad. Last yr in Terminal 3... I met Jackie Chan, Air Supply band, Kris dayanti and Anang, Juliana Banos, Khatijah Ibrahim.. But all those im not interested to take pixies with.. kris dayanti was so snobbish. juliana banos was friendly but she was wit her baby.. so forget it. a few i really wish to meet before i leave.. hahah.. i dun think i will..but u neva noe.. this is the benefit u work in airport.. haha. I missed 'Jun pyo'.( Boys over flower korean drama actor). he was in airport when i off. damn. I wanna meet Agnes Monica and Pasha ungu. hahahhaa. lame..k lar below the pixies.. not much.. but meaningful to me except with farrel..dat one juz for fun (",). dats all people going out later meet my Love! yeah!.

4th Day Kuta.

2010-02-08T21:45:00.005+08:00

4th day Kuta was fun. sun tanning, boogie ride, surfing, fake tatooing..and lots more!!

till the next post for the last day...boring.

3RD DAY (ULUWATU; TANAH LOT; & MORE)

2010-02-08T20:32:00.011+08:00

3rd day was all about culture.. alot sight seeing despite the very hot weather. went to uluwatu for their culture park, temple visiting and tanah lot for sunset views..but sad..the sun not really shine.. so not much of sunset to see. But it is really a beautiful place..

4th day to the next post...

2nd Day (Lovina; Singaraja; Ubud; Legian, Kuta)

2010-02-08T15:47:00.011+08:00

Stay one night in Lovina. Boat ride to watch dolphin was draggy as early as 6am... Journey to the deep blue sea was like 45 mins ride.. sea sick..but the view of sunrise in the midle of the sea..was serene.. Dolphins was shy at first.. but after awhile a school of dolphins came to the surface..hard to capture the pics..so managed to take vids only.. they are fast!. saw one dolphin flipped.. action sia..haha. after like 1 hour hunting them..getting tired then back to the shore..shower, relax and then check out headed back to kuta..along the way journey back.. we drop by singaraja for volcano, ubud for shopping, then straight to Kuta. below are the pixies for the 2nd day..

3rd day pixies to the next post(",)

Holiday's Over. Back to reality.

2010-02-08T13:20:00.018+08:00

It's been days i didnt update due to my trip for Bali n straight back to work a day after i reached singapore.. Till now i can still feel the shagginess.. Bali trip was superbly fun with the fun people around. having a great sun burn. ouch. The views is serene and beautiful.. but food was so dissappointing.. Shopping so expensive dat goes for all the beach/surf wear brands. but yet me n bf still bought some. haha.. the temptations so high. Bali is a very sacred place for Hinduisms.. They have a very strong beliefs, cultures and rituals for their gods. That's why Bali has a lot Dos and Donts..But if u are a party people, Bali will be more on the nightlife spots.. It is Crazy! haha im not a clubber so all this like culture shocks to me.. haha kental sak. K.. we didnt really manage to cover all sight seeing for bali. The activities dat i wanted so much and missed it, is white water rafting. becuz cash was running low.. n yeah.. sad. haha. Our group went to places dat not much people will want to visit if they went to Bali. A place like 4 to 5 hours drive from Kuta.. we went to lovina for dolphins, bedugul, singaraja.. watch active volcanos.. woah.. the views was superb!!!! beautiful..the road trip was like all around the mountains.. temperature soooo cold... very nice. best experience ever. when reached back to Kuta.. it was so hot.. raining at times.. becuz now is their wet seasons..the people is friendly..stays at 100 sunset was soooo pleasant..the room is proudly great and luxury. k..below some of the pixies..i wont upload all.too much of pixies ar people... so enjoyz...

Day 1. (SIN/DPS; Bedugul; Lovina)

...2nd day to the next post..

ShaggeD

2010-01-29T20:55:00.002+08:00

i dun think love will call me. he's having fun with his dearest. I told him i wont disturb him but yet i still wait for his sms or call. Im bored and tired now..due to not enuf sleep. yesterday cudnt barely sleep well. tried to..my eyes were tired but my mind not sleeping.. juz now was my first day of early shift after off..always hard to sleep. n it went on untill my alarm rings..3.15am. yeah time to shower and get ready for work. n now im so shagged...will sleep soon. early today..cuz love will reach home late. by then i'll asleep already. haiz.... wats in my mind actually.. i also dunnoe. my eyes twitching from juz now.. wat is dat mean? i dun feel good... really.. why sey.. plz...i hate this kind of feeling. HMphhh!!.. yesterday outing with gfs.. was superb.. pixies havent load yet.. k.. seriously now i have no mood..but im still typing...dat is it ppl.. before i drag nonsense.. gd nite.

4 mOrE DaYz!!

2010-01-27T20:56:00.002+08:00

8:56pm.as per usual waiting bf to call..i didnt seem dat excited as my title actually... okay2 lar.. happy cuz..the person who supposed to lead us and then back out halfway, he at last decided back to lead the team to Bali! yeah..thx Pak Andy.. Hahaha.. going out with girlfrenz tomm",.. shopping for toiletries to bali..hahaha.. toiletries is essential.. Mostly to women. Yeah rite maryam 'not excited'..haha abit lar.. Juz now i hand in my resignation letter. My Operational Manager..hold me back by saying company will offer more opportunities to me... on my area of arts.. Yeah rite!. i also dun want. why u have to realise a person is talent or credibility when he/she wanted to leave? why dont they realise it during her/his period of time giving the best of service to the company? Ive been in this company for 2 yrs.. no bonus..no increment.. attendance allowance taken..commission not adjusted.. dapat warning letter lagi ada...for stupid act..using hp in a 'STOREROOM'. 'storeroom' k.. a place where nobody sees u.. a place where there's a 4 cramp walls covered u with a door shut. what is their stand? ooh.. they will ans.."u left the shopfloor empty irresponsibly"..even there was another staff to cover..for goodness sake..not even 5mins of conversation on the phone.. warning letter for dat? not even had the chance to xplain urself..or atleast give an order of verbal warning..Im not scared of this warning letter. Not at all. but it affect my image and respect towards this company.I dun deserve all this. why i had to brought out this matter back..cuz it's stupid..only this company will actually busy finding fault with the staff rather than improving their managements value, politics, win the heart of their staffs..observe their staffs potential and charisma..but they dun see that at all..oohh..Reasons?? oohh..they will say.. becuz we have not yet seen ur full potential to grow.. yeah rite. Then when i want to leave...ur saying company has alot of plans of opportunities for the staff to expand? Mana? sini? sana? situ? tak nampak pun... work attics je yg meleret2.. haiz.... My operational manager give me 2 days to think it over.. Think taik ah.. haha..my bf fav words.. yes TAIK AH! nothing to think i had decided and datz it..there's no turning point..and im going to see in different directions when i start with my new job. Im sorry..GOODBBBYEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Monday..BF day.

2010-01-25T20:59:00.002+08:00

So long i neva took public with love..asyik naik car je..and we did took public juz now..even only to causeway point. haha..we did really have a good time(",). Yesterday was suck at work. Thanks to that bitch. I dunnoe are you really feel good when u do something to make people hate u? i juz dunnoe..masih ada jugak orang2 yang busuk hati..lucky im leaving. thanks eh. But still it was a great nite with fara yesterday at work...eventhough both of us were down...but alot of things we shared. And good news..my leaves approved for BALI already...woooohhooooooo!!!!!! BAli here i come...even ALOT of things happened.. some of them cud not make it. sad. but this trip still has to go on..even the one who shud lead us..wont be around..sad. haiz... k lar.. datz all ppl. Gd nite.

What is Love withOut You.

2010-01-22T20:59:00.006+08:00

8:59pm now..waiting for love to call me. alot of things happened this week. There was good and bad. The good one is..Ive got a place in Universal Studio under Resort World Sentosa as a Costume Specialists",.. job scope? i have to dress up the performers for the theatrical shows at universal studio and casino..have to in-charged with the costumes..all about backstage crew. Fun sia!.. haha i never imagine myself doing this. and partly this is my forte about costumes.. so this is so my thing. They offered me higher basic from my current company.. they have bonus,overtime and increment..free meal.. woah.. im loving it. maybe i can take all the ride for free also! haha my wish! gonna bring my beloved nieces and small cuzins if i can get half price;P. hehe.. and my love can bring his fav nephew also",.. signed the appointment letter already..gonna tender this 27th.. this is the saddest part.. i heart my frenz at my current working place. they have been there to laugh..to make fun..to blasts..to cry.. to shop. To Fara, Era, Faizal and the rest that have been good to me, Im gonna miss u all. I have to leave for good. for my future. For my family and for my love. im sorry..but i'll treasure everything but only the good ones.. alot of memories wit them... the most with those name mentioned above.. Ive appreciate their care and love for me.. Be good k Gorgeous! To Fara, I noe light is not on you for now. Love is not on ur side. Believe me..if he really meant for you he will always be. However it is..we'll always be on ur side. Ive treated u more as a friend..more like a sister..even i noe u only for 2yrs.. we bitch together, cry together..blasts together. love is cruel.. but patience is virtue. follow ur mind and ur heart. if it say so then it'll be urs. So dun pretend everything is fine..juz let it out..I noe how it feels. We are geminians Babe.. we click. haha..Well.. me and my love..still going strong..sometimes i dunnoe where that strength come from me, to face all the obstacles and all the hiccups after all this yrs with him. Maybe my love for him too strong.. and there's no others that can take his place. Love him. He's the reason i wake up everyday. gd nite ppl.

Sakit Hatiku

2010-01-21T14:17:00.002+08:00

Aku tahu engkau terpaksa
Cintai ku kerna iman mu.
Juga aku yang slalu memohon
mengemis cinta pada mu.

Dia lebih layak dariku
Seperti apa yang kau mahu
kau juga tetap menginginkanku
hanya untuk keterpaksaan

sakit hatiku
saat kau dekat dengan nya
kau peluk mesra dirinya
namun aku tak kuasa
kerna ku rela kau jalin cinta dengannya
walau perih ku rasakan demi cinta.

nice song. for stupid women.

See No Evil.Hear No Evil.Speak No Evil.

2010-01-19T20:06:00.008+08:00

It's 8:11pm now. Waiting for love to call me. Has been reading alot of fengshui and horoscope lately.. haha. This year will be a good year for me. 'It' says lar. maybe soon..maybe later. It's not right to believe it. But for me it juz a kind of motivation and nothing more. I believe good or bad.. GOD will decide. We, human has to work hard to achieve what we want. Received a 'promise' sms from love to me last nite. Touches me so much and kept me smiling all day long(",). hmmmmmmmmm... ouhh kay! no mushy2 here. haha. Im in holiday mood rite now. Counting down for the days to BALI. Argh!! cant wait!! I even prepared a list of things to bring already..nyehehe..haha wit 'EXCEL' somemore.. haha. S.e.m.a.n.g.a.t. dah boring ar babe. well enjoy some pixies me at work with bunch of my gd frenz..",

See No Evil. Hear No Evil. Speak No Evil.
..haha yeah rite..

"Chloeans Babes"

"Dila Last Day in Airport"

anyway........

"see2!!! i took Rossa Signature!! even she was not looking at me..damn.. but still me with my diary open, smiling sheepishly, waiting patiencely.. for her to finish sign at my book..while she posing with the pen on the book..with the cams non-stop clicking..as if mcm sign cert nikah.hahaha..aaahh...it was one of the loveliest nite ever. Not becuz of the show.. but becus of HER.Luv u lar ROSSA(",).."

that's all people for tonight.. love HIM.

tIReD

2010-01-15T22:41:00.003+08:00

back from work. working mid shift today. the most not favourite shift. cuz no free taxi. has to take bus to and fro. boring. yeap life getting boring everyday. tomm i have interview for resort world sentosa. failed the first one. dun wish to elaborate. suddenly i had this thought in my mind. wat is a company without employee..and wat is employee without employer. a lot of new staff coming in juz now.. feel like telling them they are wasting their time here. maybe this is their temporary option before they further their studies. at least they have aims. i do have one of course. and im not sure when i cud achieve that.. it's all about money. money and money. like my bf always said..saving..saving..saving...haiz with this kind of pay im getting in every month..it's so sickening.. well.. im not hoping for the best with this company.. but im hoping the best for myself when im out from there. wish me luck for tomm..if i got the job...at last i'll be doing things dat related to wat im supposed to. oh god..help me. gd nite ppl..

A new Blog..A new Year.

2010-01-14T17:58:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Welcome to the world of Me. This Blog wont be too personal about myself neither too general. It's neutral. It's not about updating my life..but it's more about letting out my heartfelt. life getting boring.. and to have this..somehow or rather will occupied some of my time. It's not that i dun have a life. I have a lovely Bf, beautiful family and gorgeous friends. it wont kill to spend 10 mins for this everyday. I juz need something to write..to type.. im a thinker. haha. well said. I have a lot of thing to say..to write.. so keep up wit the next posts. Thanks.